College Stories. My Girlfriend Is Too Naive--- Free -

Last week, she almost signed a lease for a basement apartment that had a “cozy water feature.” The landlord called it “passive humidity.” Emily thought it sounded “medieval and romantic.” I had to explain that the carpet was squishing. She looked at me with those big, earnest eyes and said, “Maybe it’s a hot spring?”

But three months into the relationship, I realized that dating Emily is like being the designated adult for a golden retriever who has just discovered that doors exist. Everything is a wonder. Everything is an adventure. And everything is a potential disaster. College Stories. My Girlfriend Is Too Naive--- Free

That’s the trick. Naïveté isn’t a lack of intelligence. It’s a refusal to let the world harden you. Emily has a 3.9 GPA. She can recite Supreme Court cases from memory. She taught herself Python over winter break because she was “bored.” But she still believes that if you just explain your feelings clearly enough, the campus parking authority will forgive your ticket. Last week, she almost signed a lease for

“You know,” she said quietly, “I’m not naïve because I don’t know how the world works. I’m naïve because I know exactly how it works, and I’ve decided it’s too exhausting to live like that.” Everything is an adventure

She is a political science major who believes that every politician is “trying their best.” She once wrote a five-page paper arguing that negative attack ads should be illegal because they hurt people’s feelings. Her professor gave her a C+ and wrote “Bless your heart” in the margin. She framed it.

That’s when I realized I had it backwards. I thought I was protecting her. But she was protecting me. She was the one pulling me back from the ledge of cynicism that college so eagerly pushes you toward.

And me? I’ve stopped grabbing her arm. Now I just stand next to her, watching the world try to take advantage of my impossibly trusting girlfriend.